Sad news

Bob passed away Friday night peacefully at home.

The long good-bye

It was a gift that Bob decided on hospice last week. We spent some very good time together and it eased a burden I didn't know I was carrying. He was in the hospital until yesterday because as in the past, he gets worse without his medicine in about 4 days. Well, stubborn man that he is, he didn't follow his normal pattern. Without evidence of progression, Hospice couldn't keep him in the hospital. Well, damn if he didn't get worse the minute we got him home. He is not aware of his surroundings and we are keeping him happily sedated.

We have had an amazing out-pouring of love and support. Old friends and family have been coming out of the woodwork to see us or contact us with their prayers and good wishes. We appreciate every single one of you!!

Donuts can't fix this

I am sad to say Bob is in Hospice in the hospital. I really appreciate all the support I have received from all of our family and friends.

Random thoughts

I have been up since 3:00 am with the Bobster. He isn't doing that well and I wake up at every little sound so here I am...

When a family member is terminally ill everyone comes out of the woodwork. Nieces and nephews we haven't seen in ages, old friends, ex-sisters-in-law.. It's nice that they visit him and he is so happy to see them but I feel bad for all of them. On my side of the family we see aunts, uncles, cousins all the time. They call, they Facebook. His side, not so much. The Bobster's uncle died in January and we didn't find out until September. It isn't his fault and it isn't theirs. It's just the way his family is but I find it all sad.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, says "if there is anything I can do". They are all very sincere and we are appreciative. I know family and friends want to help in someway to show their love and ease our burden but I never know what to say. I am still working part-time ish so my mom and aunt come over to help, God Love Them! There isn't much to do but they help with little things that I don't get to like folding laundry and doing dishes. The best thing anyone did lately was bring dinner (oxoxo Jackie). I can cook but I just have so much else to do that is it great not to have to worry about it. Come visit for a few minutes. Bob loves it.

Why does caring for a sick person always involve poop? Just saying...

On a lighter note, we finally had the damn garage sale! It was 50 out so I was pretty sure no one would come but it was pretty busy. I sold over $320 worth of junk. My mom wants to have part 2 next weekend but if it is a nice as they say it will be I need to clean my flower beds and start putting my outside to bed for the winter.

I hope you have a great week and enjoy the weather, wherever you are!

Today's news

Bob has improved tremendously! He is up and walking and feeling much like his old self again. The plan was for him to go to a rehab for a week or so to get his strength back but he is one determined man and going home today or at the latest in the morning with home nursing for a week.

His health is not going to improve much more than it is and his liver is still failing but he is happy to go home.

Long and winding road

I will try to explain what is going on with Bob as simply as possible. His liver is failing and he is in end- stage liver failure. His liver put out too much ammonia and it made me him confused. Last time this happened they gave him medicine in the hospital and he got better and came home. This time he got a little better but his liver has tipped to the bad side. His doctors would like him to agree to Hospice but he won't. He called me early one morning this week and said, "hi honey, I decided I want to live". He tells me he is a fighter but this may be too big of a match for him. He is not in pain, he is actually in a pretty good mood and is eating, talking, pooping...haha..

At this point we are taking it day-by-day. We appreciate all of your prayers and good wishes.

Finally

Bob has been in step down ICU since the Saturday before Labor Day. He is finally being moved to a regular floor today which I hope means he will be home in a few days. He had an e coli infection and is retaining fluid. He gained 10lbs in fluid this week, mostly in his legs. They look like tree trunks, but he is feeling much better and up walking around and generally being his usual pain in the ass self :D

I am usually pretty tired when he is in the hospital because I work all day and the spend a few hours at the hospital each night. By the time I get home my head it like cotton. But this week I have been more down than usual and I figured out it was all the 9/11 stuff. I get unbelievably sad and can't watch ANY of the stories on TV with out sobbing. On Friday morning the radio station I listen to had a "remembrance" show and I heard a little before I could change the station. Of course I started crying on my way to work. I spent the whole week with my eyes scrunched closed and my feet planted hard on the ground so the 10th anniversary memories wouldn't knock me on my ass again.

Believe it or not I am finally going to have the garage sale I keep talking about. Fri., Sat., and Sun., Sept. 23-25. REALLY!! I don't care if he is in the hospital or not. That junk has got to go!

The picture above was last summer in Dallas and that is my bestie, Nancy! She is my go-to girl for feel better pick me up talks! Love ya :D