The tale of Gracie.

Let me tell you the story of Gracie the wonder dog. We had a cocker spaniel for years..12 to be exact. The poor thing got sick and we had to put her out of her misery years ago. I swore off dogs. I told Bob every single time he dragged me to the pet store, "no dogs".

Well, Bob got sick and really really wanted a puppy, hence, Gracie. Against all advice we got her from a pet store. She is a cocker-chon - Cocker/Bichon mix. Doesn't shed, is hypo-allergic. I honestly thought she would be small; a cute little lap dog. I am sure I had a fever or something because she had huge paws and is a stocky, husky 32 pounds.

Poor Gracie is now home all alone. Poor Gracie is now, after being 8 years old, getting into everything she can while I am work. Poor Gracie is going to be dead if she doesn't stop it!! When I get home from work I never know what my house is going to look like but I know for sure that the mess will involve toilet paper. There is a long long flag of toilet paper from the bathroom into the kitchen every day. I thought she was pulling it off and running with it until...my sister caught the cat rolling the toilet paper off the roll!!! The cat bats at toilet paper until it is un-rolled and then the dog runs around the house with it. It would be funny if I didn't have to clean it up..well..it is kind of funny.

I am looking for suggestions to keep the dog entertained. I tried a Kong..she ate it.

Back to work

Well it looks I am back to work. I was off for a month and I sure would like to be off some more but hey, gotta pay those bills. I have to say my boss, Jennifer, has been super. She told me to take all the time I need, and I did. She also sent flowers to my office on the day I came back to work. My sister stayed with me for 2 weeks and I can't say it enough, I would not have been able to do any of the stuff that had to be done without her! Her kids came for a week and my brother David and his clan stayed for 2 weeks. After they all left my girl Nancy came up from Dallas for a week and we pretty much just drank the entire time! I had a pretty severe sore throat and laryngitis for most of that week and believe tequila is what cured me.

So, this being a widow thing is pretty crappy but if I have to look for silver linings (and I do) I can say hmmm, not having someone tell me how to load the dishwasher has been interesting. ;D I am not crying every day anymore but weird stuff will set me off. Like last night, I was talking to the dog....and started bawling. I know, weird!

It's a little uncomfortable the first time I see most people because they don't know what to say. "I am sorry for your loss" works good and then we can all move on... which is perfect and much better than the old woman at the funeral who told me, a. "it will only get worse before it gets better" and b. She made her husband's wedding ring into earrings, "just something you might want to consider."

All in all I think I am doing ok but then again, my mom has been in Seattle for 2 weeks so it could just be the peace and quiet! Just kidding, love you mom!

Sad news

Bob passed away Friday night peacefully at home.

The long good-bye

It was a gift that Bob decided on hospice last week. We spent some very good time together and it eased a burden I didn't know I was carrying. He was in the hospital until yesterday because as in the past, he gets worse without his medicine in about 4 days. Well, stubborn man that he is, he didn't follow his normal pattern. Without evidence of progression, Hospice couldn't keep him in the hospital. Well, damn if he didn't get worse the minute we got him home. He is not aware of his surroundings and we are keeping him happily sedated.

We have had an amazing out-pouring of love and support. Old friends and family have been coming out of the woodwork to see us or contact us with their prayers and good wishes. We appreciate every single one of you!!

Donuts can't fix this

I am sad to say Bob is in Hospice in the hospital. I really appreciate all the support I have received from all of our family and friends.

Random thoughts

I have been up since 3:00 am with the Bobster. He isn't doing that well and I wake up at every little sound so here I am...

When a family member is terminally ill everyone comes out of the woodwork. Nieces and nephews we haven't seen in ages, old friends, ex-sisters-in-law.. It's nice that they visit him and he is so happy to see them but I feel bad for all of them. On my side of the family we see aunts, uncles, cousins all the time. They call, they Facebook. His side, not so much. The Bobster's uncle died in January and we didn't find out until September. It isn't his fault and it isn't theirs. It's just the way his family is but I find it all sad.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, says "if there is anything I can do". They are all very sincere and we are appreciative. I know family and friends want to help in someway to show their love and ease our burden but I never know what to say. I am still working part-time ish so my mom and aunt come over to help, God Love Them! There isn't much to do but they help with little things that I don't get to like folding laundry and doing dishes. The best thing anyone did lately was bring dinner (oxoxo Jackie). I can cook but I just have so much else to do that is it great not to have to worry about it. Come visit for a few minutes. Bob loves it.

Why does caring for a sick person always involve poop? Just saying...

On a lighter note, we finally had the damn garage sale! It was 50 out so I was pretty sure no one would come but it was pretty busy. I sold over $320 worth of junk. My mom wants to have part 2 next weekend but if it is a nice as they say it will be I need to clean my flower beds and start putting my outside to bed for the winter.

I hope you have a great week and enjoy the weather, wherever you are!

Today's news

Bob has improved tremendously! He is up and walking and feeling much like his old self again. The plan was for him to go to a rehab for a week or so to get his strength back but he is one determined man and going home today or at the latest in the morning with home nursing for a week.

His health is not going to improve much more than it is and his liver is still failing but he is happy to go home.