Final farewell to 2011

After all the crap I went through in 2011 I can honestly say it was the worst year of my life. I am very happy to be done with it and get on to 2012, Mayan calendar and all :D

I don't make resolutions on New Year's Eve but I do try to make reachable goals. I don't even remember last year's goals that's how crazy my year was. This year I am taking my diet and exercise in hand. I work out with a trainer once a week for a very long and grueling hour and I try to get to the gym 2 more times. I say TRY but I really don't. It's cold and wet and dark and I am tired. My foot hurts my back hurts my dog needs to be let out... These are my perceived hurdles but really, I just don't feel like it! So, I am looking for ways to motivate myself.

My second goal is to get my basement cleaned out. For those of us in Michigan a basement can be a godsend and/or a curse. We stash everything in the basement and forget about it. Top that with a husband who never got rid of anything, ever, and you see my problem. I gave away the old treadmill and have been slowly taking things to the Salvation Army. I still have a long way to go. I plan on having a few very large garage sales as soon as the weather turns warmer do I need to get my butt in gear!

I see 2012 as the perfect year to start over. For the first time in a long time I have plans. I hope to detail those plans here over the next months so stay tuned!

I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year!

Monday... ha ha...oops... Tuesday

Four days off and I am back to work...kind of. I am here for about 6 hours a day Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week. My company gives Fri/Mon off on the Christmas and New Year's weekends. This is the first time in about 10 years that I have worked the days in-between. I am heading to Seattle (Hi Stefanie) in 2 weeks and didn't want to take the vacation days needed. No one here, I am just puttering..cleaning files, posting blogs...

So I seem to have survived my first Christmas without the hubby. I kept very busy and cried when I needed to, which wasn't that often. I am getting sick to death of this though. I think I have been doing very well and BAM all of a sudden something weird hits me and I start bawling! Yesterday it was cleaning house. I know, weird right? When we had people over I did the shopping and cooking and Bob cleaned the house. I had my brother and his family over and had to clean everything myself! I guess that is enough to make anyone cry. :D

I got a lot done over the time off and hope to get more done this coming long weekend.. Next up, an overhaul of my diet and exercise regime. Wish me luck I am honestly going to need it.

So this is Christmas

Bah Humbug! As much as I try I just can't seem to get into the "spirit" this year! Yes, I know, my husband died... it will get better...blah blah... I don't think it will ever be the same for more reasons then that. My immediate family is all spread out, Mom and Sis in Dallas, brother and family in Seattle leaves 2 brothers. We used to have a big crowd and now we are down to a few. The weather doesn't help this year...warmish for December, overcast and rainy. Not really Christmas type of weather. I am not depressed... I just don't feel like being freaking JOLLY!! How about you?

I'm Baaack!

Wow, I haven't blogged in ages! I didn't really have anything to say....which I am sure most of you don't believe! I have been trying to get into Christmas a little bit. It's not working. As you may know from previous posts, this is not my favorite holiday to begin with. Without Bob here it just seems pointless this year. I am sure I will get more into the spirit in the next few years, but maybe not. What I would really like to do it travel for the holidays but, and that's a really big but... I hate the actual travel during this time of year. Crazy people, screaming kids, bad weather delays... bleck!

This year I am heading to my niece and her husband's for Christmas eve, volunteering Christmas morning and then my brother's for Christmas dinner. Then the next day I am having another brother and his crew for dinner! Still trying to decide what I want to do for New Year's but it looks like the jury is in and I will survive the holidays this year! How about you?

The tale of Gracie.

Let me tell you the story of Gracie the wonder dog. We had a cocker spaniel for years..12 to be exact. The poor thing got sick and we had to put her out of her misery years ago. I swore off dogs. I told Bob every single time he dragged me to the pet store, "no dogs".

Well, Bob got sick and really really wanted a puppy, hence, Gracie. Against all advice we got her from a pet store. She is a cocker-chon - Cocker/Bichon mix. Doesn't shed, is hypo-allergic. I honestly thought she would be small; a cute little lap dog. I am sure I had a fever or something because she had huge paws and is a stocky, husky 32 pounds.

Poor Gracie is now home all alone. Poor Gracie is now, after being 8 years old, getting into everything she can while I am work. Poor Gracie is going to be dead if she doesn't stop it!! When I get home from work I never know what my house is going to look like but I know for sure that the mess will involve toilet paper. There is a long long flag of toilet paper from the bathroom into the kitchen every day. I thought she was pulling it off and running with it until...my sister caught the cat rolling the toilet paper off the roll!!! The cat bats at toilet paper until it is un-rolled and then the dog runs around the house with it. It would be funny if I didn't have to clean it up..well..it is kind of funny.

I am looking for suggestions to keep the dog entertained. I tried a Kong..she ate it.

Back to work

Well it looks I am back to work. I was off for a month and I sure would like to be off some more but hey, gotta pay those bills. I have to say my boss, Jennifer, has been super. She told me to take all the time I need, and I did. She also sent flowers to my office on the day I came back to work. My sister stayed with me for 2 weeks and I can't say it enough, I would not have been able to do any of the stuff that had to be done without her! Her kids came for a week and my brother David and his clan stayed for 2 weeks. After they all left my girl Nancy came up from Dallas for a week and we pretty much just drank the entire time! I had a pretty severe sore throat and laryngitis for most of that week and believe tequila is what cured me.

So, this being a widow thing is pretty crappy but if I have to look for silver linings (and I do) I can say hmmm, not having someone tell me how to load the dishwasher has been interesting. ;D I am not crying every day anymore but weird stuff will set me off. Like last night, I was talking to the dog....and started bawling. I know, weird!

It's a little uncomfortable the first time I see most people because they don't know what to say. "I am sorry for your loss" works good and then we can all move on... which is perfect and much better than the old woman at the funeral who told me, a. "it will only get worse before it gets better" and b. She made her husband's wedding ring into earrings, "just something you might want to consider."

All in all I think I am doing ok but then again, my mom has been in Seattle for 2 weeks so it could just be the peace and quiet! Just kidding, love you mom!

Sad news

Bob passed away Friday night peacefully at home.