It's been six months since my darling husband died. In some ways it has flown and others it has dragged. I am doing fine, really, but moving on is a tough thing. This is what I have learned in the past 6 months.
I have learned that I don't like living alone because there is no one to talk to and as we all know, I am a talker! I have never lived alone.
I don't like having to take care of every damn thing in the house either. Laundry, yard work, cleaning, dishes it's all too much. Bob and I split the chores pretty evenly and now to have to do it all sucks.
I also don't like having to call on others to help but this is a sticky wicket because everyone wants to do something, anything, to help. A GREAT BIG thanks to my brother Bobby for changing out my bathroom faucet on his lunch hour! My brother David for securing my back door and garage and my brother John for getting my sprinkler system up and running for the season, fixing my leaking faucet outside and helping to put my headboard on my bed frame. Another big thanks to my favorite cousin Jim for spray paint help and getting the ugly old treadmill out of my basement and most importantly for getting the grill out! A very special thank you to my mom from her favorite granddogger for all the dog sitting.
I have learned that duct tape fixes just about anything and who to call if it doesn't.
I have learned that I have too much crap and this is important, get rid of all your crap! Bob kept EVERYTHING! I have an entire Sears Hardware store in my basement. It is going to take me about 3 weekends to organize a garage sale and get rid of all of this stuff. Anyone know how much a used grinder goes for? I have been cleaning, tossing and giving away stuff for months and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel yet. Honest to god I found his uniform from Vietnam that I didn't even know he had and 2 pair of platform shoes from the 70's, his, not mine!
I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I miss him every single day but it no longer feels like someone scooped out my heart with a teaspoon. I can't say I am excited for the future but I can now see a future.